I'm a 19 years old young male. INFP. I'm boring, lunatic - or lunatique should I say, not the same meaning, different languages- and most of the time feeling quite lonely and self-depreciating.
Might have a lil' something broken in the gearings of my mind.
Self loathing, Nine inch nails, various industrial and hard electronics music from time to time, photographs (some are mines), a bit of art, a bit of landscape and architecture. Throw some MTG, video games and a bit of cyberpunk/sci-fi in it and this is mostly what my space on the interweb consist of.
By the way when the infinite scrolling doesn't want to scroll further or gets stucks , just reload the page in your browser ! As it often gets stuck from time to time...
I’m feeling so tired… Well not physically, I mean I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.
I feel like I’m such a burden, such a failure. Whatever I do I end up with someone yelling at me.
Yes, I’m well aware I cost you money, I perfectly know it. Yes I know I’m back home late but that’s just the way it is when you’re commuting…
It’s just the first day of school and I already feel so… out of place. I don’t feel like I belong here. People here seem so fake, so out of touch with reality. Out of touch with MY reality anyway. They are just… so full of themselves and their huge ego. They don’t quite understand how life works for most of the people. They’re not even aware of their privileges -Dare I use this word ?!- …
I’m what they would call “poor” even if I’m not really the very definition of this word. I mean my father rents a nice home, he has nice car and he has nice furniture and a big TV screen. Whereas my mother… that’s not really the case and money might be one of the reasons she keeps yelling at me all the time.
To them I’m poor though. I’m looked down upon. Most of them are full of disdain. They think they are “superior” in some regards I guess.
But if being “poor” -or at least not being rich- is what it takes to be a down-to-earth, honest and true person then I think I’d rather be poor then.
Some might bash “fight club” and despite the irony of a rich movie star telling us that we’re not gonna be movie stars… well there’s some truth in the message this movie conveys.
We’re constantly fed images of famous, beautiful, successful and rich people.
Be it through TV or through anything else. But sooner or later we just start to accept the fact that we’re not going to be like that.
I might be a bit bitter somewhat but I feel like there’s something broken in this big machine. I feel broken too. I feel like the gears of this machine need some oil. It needs some honesty, it needs some genuineness.
All of this sounds a but melodramatic I know but it’s just how I feel right know.
I’d kind of like to be able to start everything from scratch. More precisely I think I’d like the world in itself to change rather than just the condition, the state of a single person -me-
Will I speak of “fairness” ? I don’t know. But if it is how you name name, it needs some. Call it equality, call it justice, I don’t care…